Friday, August 14, 2009

5 More Terrible G Gundam Designs


In my previous list, the Top 5 Worst Designs in Gundam, I stayed true to my aim to diversify and actually avoided making it a list with 5 gundams from G Gundam. Still, the three on the list were not enough to show just how bad some of these designs were. G Gundam was all about an international Gundam fighting tournament, and each country had a Gundam to represent its nation. Why in the world would some of these countries design something that completely sucks the dignity out of their culture? Some of them must've just done it for the lulz. Anyway, here are 5 more terrible designs. Prepare for the worst.


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5. Matador Gundam
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My god, I never would have thought they would make the Spanish Gundam a BULL. Seriously though, this thing looks ridiculous. Is that supposed to be initimidating? A giant bull's head for a torso? And what's with the nose ring? "Here! Drag me all over the floor with this!" Retarded.


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4.  Tequila Gundam
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The Tequila Gundam is Neo Mexico's entry into the Gundam Fight. In case people wouldn't realize that it's Mexico's Gundam, they designed it with a sombrero, a funky mustache, and all the colors of dry ol' Mexico. They may as well have just gotten a racial stereotype stick and beat us half to death with it. With blood running down our nose and our bones broken in 21 different places, we'll finally realize that: "OOOH, it's MEXICAN". And Tequila?! Really? REALLY guys? That's so immature.

Oh, and the pilot's name is Chico. CHICO. BECAUSE HE'S MEXICAN. GET IT?


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3.  Zebra Gundam
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Well fuck me if this isn't racist. An African tribesman from Neo-Kenya? Is that all that's there? Tribesmen? You guys built a god damn GIANT ROBOT and all you could do was make it in the shape of an animal hunter? The other guys have hadoukens and guns, but Kenya seemed to be content with just a spear and shield. And what's with the zebra skin? Is it normal to hunt zebra and wear their skin? Oh wait, it's stereotyping~ yaay~


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2. Skull Gundam
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This is what Bigfoot would look like if it were a Gundam...and if it were undead...and if it played football...and if it had a huge stupid looking skull for a torso. Actually, you can pretty much replace Bigfoot with anything else and it would still produce that piece of crap you see above. I just...its...no, no. Not again. FUCK this Gundam.


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1. Nether Gundam
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The Nether Gundam is last in the line of absurd racial stereotypes. This one represents Holland, and what is Holland known for? Windmills! So we should make a Gundam with a huge windmill in front of it, right? No you fucking idiot, no you SHOULDN'T. Unfortunately, that's exactly what it is. It's a Gundam with a huge windmill on its chest. And guess what its special ability is...no don't guess, I want to scream it at you. TURNING INTO A FUCKING WINDMILL. THAT'S IT.

           Holland's weapon of mass destruction

It's so retarded that it just pretends to be a windmill to avoid fighting and eventually loses all its fights when it can't hide anymore. When the time comes for the world to unite to fight the Devil Gundam, Holland doesn't design a new, more powerful Gundam to aid them in the battle. No. Not realizing that their Gundam is epic scale gay, they MASS PRODUCE IT. Because 1 windmill asshole isn't enough, they make 39 of them, possibly just for laughs. Now, whenever I see a windmill, I will shout obscenities at it. Thanks a lot, Nether Gundam.


Check out my other Gundam Top 5 lists~


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18 comments:

  1. I think the proper arrangement should be this way:
    5. Tequila Gundam
    4. Zebra Gundam
    3. Nether Gundam
    2. Skull Gundam
    1. Matador Gundam
    At least, Neo Mexico's Gundam still looks like a Gundam unlike other Gundams on the list.

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  2. haha Nether gundam is FREAK!!

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  3. skull gundam represents my country. one joke in my country is that our government, if they should ever build a gundam, would actually look like THAT!

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  4. Dude, I just love your writing, especially this one. Laugh so frigging hard, Ahahaha.

    Ahahaha, These gundam designs are just hilarous. And what is up with the prick with a windmill on its chest. totally freak. I haven't watch this series, but I really think it was made only for the sake of humoring the audience. Ahahaha..

    And nether is supposed to be Netherlands for short? why don't they just go and make it bike gundam as well, as it also is the Dutch's distinct trait. Crazy assholes, hahahaha

    Anyway, you have way with words man. you should considering working in this kind of field in the future.

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    Replies
    1. Wow, thanks thanks, I really appreciate the compliment. Just wish I could get a job where I could do this and earn enough to live...

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  5. It's amazing that everything in the list belongs to Future Century era, namely the infamous G Gundam mechas

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    Replies
    1. It's amazing that the last three posts were done on the 24th day of the month, and that my post was written exactly 1 year after

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    2. Well this IS a list for G Gundam, I have a different list for just general bad designs.

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  6. senseless gundams!!!fuck that!!!

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  7. germany's gundam was really racist being based off of a nazi soldier and all but it was an awesome design.

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  8. I don't think the mecha designers were intentionally racist, but it was pretty obvious they drew on foreign stereotypes, and even winged it for some countries. Yeah, I agree Gundam Spiegel's does look like an SS, but it was key to the plot and was über awesome.

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  9. OMG... at some point I really feel want to send complaint letter to the Nethers embassy... lol.. good job in finding these weirds gundams.

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  10. "Holland's weapon of mass destruction" had me rolling lmao.

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  11. Tequila Gundam was so bad that it's awesome. I'd totally buy it if it ever came out.

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  12. Why didn't they put the mill on the BACK in robot mode?? And did it have a lethargy-inducing smoke screen, because that would also fit our national stereotype...

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